I feel antsy as I write this. I feel that I don't why I'm writing this, other than to keep my hands moving so I don't have to sit in this stuck position. Stuck. I feel stuck. And sticky.
I may not even finish this, and it may not be of service to anyone, not even myself. But I need to feel that my words are going to matter. At least before he is in office. Before his decisions might take place, I need to feel like I have a voice. Many of us need to know that we have a voice and that our voices will be heard because even if we don't have the power, we are the people. We are people. And that should matter. It matters to me. It matters to me. I didn't sleep last night. I didn't think that this years election would take a toll on my mind like it did, because I didn't take the time to sit down and analyze just how my feelings would travel out of me if this man became our president. Our leader. I feel disgusted just giving him that title. I have been taking a Women's Studies 101 class for the past three months. We would sit and talk and discuss and sit and think about all the ways we are agents, systematically dominant groups of people, and targets, systematically non-dominant groups of people. And as much as I would like to take the time to explain what these ideas of privilege, and power, and difference, and inequity are, I just don't have the capacity. Today can not be the day that I take the time to educate my fellow white Americans about the vast amount of unconscious and unearned privilege they are given every single day, including yesterday. So I'm sorry, but you will have to research that yourself. I used to think that I was only a target as a woman. Which I am. But I am not a woman of color. I am not a gender queer woman. I am not a transgender woman, or a disabled woman, or a woman in poverty, or a woman with no credentials, and I am not a transgender, black, queer, disabled woman, so how dare I complain about the things that are oppressive towards me. I am a white, middle-class, non-disabled, heterosexual, cisgender woman. I have never been targeted in my life except for the times I have been eyeballed and commented on by men twice my age. We would go over the strategies targets must use to make it on a day to day basis in class, and the stages that we as targets go through to realize our oppression, cure our confusion, and empower our people. Except I never felt that I deserved to be apart of that group. I was still a white woman. I was still a bigger agent for being white, than I was a target for being a woman. And that changed yesterday. Yesterday was the day that I felt that I was in danger for being a woman. It hit me that there are uneducated white males that may feel that they have the right to grab me by my pussy and take advantage of my body as if it is the last slice of cake on the table and everyone feels that it's fair game. My body is fair game. It hit me that my rights to my body are now in the hands of any man that brushes past me on the street, by the government that is all too close to taking away my rights, and possibly even medical centers that are forced or willing to hold me back from my bodily autonomy. I didn't feel as if I had to follow the steps of how targets cope with their oppression until yesterday. My professor talked about how sometimes targets have to choose their battles. Sometimes it is physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting to have to speak up for your oppression. I didn't feel that I had to do that. Until now, when I opened twitter and I was forced to read a bunch of "white whine" and see how white people are so "tired of hearing about this election" and how "whatever happens, happens". I was forced to respond in a manner that spoke for all people because I have never needed to work towards being an ally more, while also making sure that myself and other women's voices are heard. You might be tired of hearing about it. You might want to go back to your normal life and forget that this whole thing happened, and you might even have the privilege to let this not effect you. And that's okay. But what's not okay is when you comment on how a target of a systematically non-dominant group of people is "overreacting" for the undeniable fear that their basic human rights will be taken away from them, hung in their face, and burned to the ground. We are not overreacting. We are not extreme. We are humans. With less privilege and power than you could ever imagine. And we have only our voices. Let us use them. Let us use them until we cannot utter anymore words because they have been pried apart from our lips, our bodies, our thoughts, our passions, our families, our goals, and our opportunities. For those of you that are targets, take care of yourself. Take care of one another, and find ways to unite when stood in the face of oppression. Keep talking. Keep fighting the fights that you can muster and know that you matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. You are human, and you are deserving. For those of you who are agents, create safe places for targets. They may not have many when this is over. Use your privilege to speak up on our issues when no one will give us the time of day. Unite with us, and do your best to work towards ally-ship.
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AuthorGrace Willcox. High school student. Likes to think of herself as cunning & witty. Probably isn't. Enjoy. Archives
March 2017
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